See you soon
We spend a significant amount of our adult lives at work. Google says we spend 1/3 of our lives at work, 1/3 of it sleeping, and the rest of it in however we choose--with family, friends, ourselves, etc. I've been fortunate to combine the 1/3 at work, with the 1/3 however we choose because by some form of luck and the universe's doing, you have accepted me into your lives as friends, and others as family. I have only fallen asleep at work once.
This last year threw me many uncertainties and highs and lows. There were many days where I looked forward to sleeping to find some new reality in my dreams. But each day when I woke, I could still have a bit of peace in my heart knowing I was coming to see you. Over the last few months, I've found the storm to calm, and again able to hear my voice, one of which has taken me to something new, or something new to me. I'm not quite sure of the order, nor its significance. Thank you for supporting me and camaraderie in my time here. You have been my home away from home (metaphorically AND literally).
Note/disclaimer: I actually have a photo of Wanjiru, but I’ve promised never to post any photos of her without consent .__.
Summer thoughts
When I look at the times I remember best, I find it's the times I've been most in touch with how I feel at that time both during my childhood and my adulthood. Elation, grief, contentment. But when I look at the things that make up many of my days, they're often moments of anxiety, stress, and urgency. My girlfriend wrote that when she removed all distractions, societal pressures, and traces of capitalism, she was able to connect on a cellular level with everything. My dad would say while there are things we may disagree with, we must continue to put faith within our society to move strongly together. How do we navigate that fine line balancing the two while living more consciously and inter connectedly with one another? I think the first step is by living truthfully and connectedly with the core of oneself. And for me, that starts by sitting with my family, sitting by myself, having the things I love naturally gravitate towards me just like the birds naturally gravitate to the bread I place outside our window on the weekends.
Leftover Monologues Part 2 (NYC)
Four years ago, I sat in a theatre in Beijing watching this incredible generation of women share their personal stories of abuse, conflicts (internal and external), pained relationships, beautiful relationships, and growth. Last month, I found myself familiarly inspired, sitting before women with stories of determination and self-discovery, brought here again by Roseann Lake -- this time at her book launch in NYC.
When asked HOW this journey had begun, Roseann provided a simple thought. "I could not understand why the talented women looked so sad after returning from the long Chinese New Year holiday. And upon asking my boss, she replied as if telling me there was no more toilet paper in the bathroom to say, 'Oh, they were not married.' And I thought "WHAT? HOW? How could these incredible (not to mention YOUNG, INDEPENDENT, BRILLIANT) women be so sad with something like this at this day in age?!" Thus, marking the start the "Leftover" Journey ― consisting of over over a dozen monologues, a book, and 500 interviews including, but not limited to:
- A high-profile detective investigating affairs
- Ivy, a beautiful long legged mistress, with men on men on men
- A student with the voice to say "Why wouldn't I like other women? Someone who would know how to touch my body as she does her own?" ― in a place where homosexuality is not allowed.
Roseann Lake, you are a force to be reckoned with -- a soul who not only inspires, but raises the ones around you. You lead us as individuals and as women to achieve what WE want, regardless of what society may dictate. You were fascinated by the incredible women in Beijing, and you have succeeded in bringing their stories to readers all over the world. For International Women's Day, I'd like to give you a big up for your heart and your work in Leftover in China: The Women Shaping the World's Next Superpower.
Forty years ago, China enacted the one-child policy, only recently relaxed. Among many other unintended consequences, it resulted in both an enormous gender imbalance―with a predicted twenty million more men than women of marriage age by 2020―and China’s first generations of only-daughters. Given the resources normally reserved for boys, these girls were pushed to study, excel in college, and succeed in careers, as if they were sons.
Now living in an economic powerhouse, enough of these women have decided to postpone marriage―or not marry at all―to spawn a label: "leftovers." Unprecedentedly well-educated and goal-oriented, they struggle to find partners in a society where gender roles have not evolved as vigorously as society itself, and where new professional opportunities have made women less willing to compromise their careers or concede to marriage for the sake of being wed. Further complicating their search for a mate, the vast majority of China’s single men reside in and are tied to the rural areas where they were raised. This makes them geographically, economically, and educationally incompatible with city-dwelling “leftovers,” who also face difficulty in partnering with urban men, given the urban men’s general preference for more dutiful, domesticated wives. (Source: www.roseannlake.com/book)
A bit of heaven
My ba was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer the start of 2017. I wish the good flowers weren't always picked first, but I suppose that's how it goes. I want to thank you for all the love and support that's come from all directions during this time. And I wish you all to feel the type of true love from one another, with your hearts calm enough to look and open enough to feel.
Some say heaven is where we go after this, some say we are already in heaven. I've been thinking that maybe it’s everything from the past, the future, and in between when we exist in moments of love. If one day, we will reach a dimension where time is no longer relevant, all that will matter is each moment. And one day when we forget where our souls and spirits have gone, we will be alright knowing we have felt things this life so deeply, that even if our minds cannot remember, our hearts will know. We are pure; we are whole at our core. Our souls have taken refuge in these bodies to allow us to feel—things that move us, love for ourselves, and love for one another. And when we are no more, I can only hope it is because we have become this love. Until then, here are some photos from my earthly heaven with my dad over this last year before he became nothing but love.
If you'd like to leave him a note, please visit www.davidisun.com
On Love
As I transition over to this new (york) city, I’m filled with memories from all the places I’ve lived and loved - all of things which bring me a sense of peace from within, especially when I lose my grounding at times. And when I am able to reflect on these moments, I am brought back to my roots, my childhood, and some of my innermost feelings (...I've got lots of these).
As time moves forward, we fall into variations of cycles in life. Once upon a childhood, my grandpa would scrunch my tights upon his hands, and create an opening for me to easily slip my feet into. Then upon some time later, I grew old enough to do it myself. I remember the day I slipped my socks on myself, with mixed feelings, knowing this signified a change of things, where I would slowly depend less on them, and more of myself. This summer, I find myself scrunching his socks around my hands as we sit quietly at the edge of the bed while I help him slide his feet into the openings. I guess I would never have gotten here if I had skipped step 2 in learning how to put my own socks on.
I want to dedicate this post to my grandparents, who have been my support since I popped out of my mama and right into their arms. My grandparents (and parents of course) have been more than great support, but also some of my truest friends in life. I am so lucky to have had them as such a constant in this life. Who knows what I'd be like if I hadn't... Maybe I'd like small children more than I do seniors... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Here are some shots of life back home in Seattle from this summer, after his socks went on.
“I did know once, only now I’ve forgotten.”
Love,
Daze