My Mother

I think you can really tell when you miss someone by the amount of times they find their way into your mind, or the number of times you seem to mention them on the daily.  I find myself telling others all the time that my mother is an artist, she's a painter, she's a dreamer, she's the most thoughtful, the most kind-hearted human being I have ever met.  Sometimes we find ourselves trying to explain the complexity of relationships, but it's really that simple. It's love. I love to love, and my friend told me today, that though his father passed away they pass something down to you 身份 “identity" meaning that there are things that you're just born with.  I feel as though I'm lucky enough to be born with my mother's dreamer-esque and creative mind, and fortunate enough to be loved by the kindest woman in the world and to love as she loves. 

Of course, mothers nag, they try to teach you everything they know, which I will admit has really come in handy many times.  But as a mother, the greatest gift she has given me is showing me how to love not just your own, but all people and things.  To appreciate all living things, flowers, animals, people, ideas, and to be kind as it's a natural thing for us to be.  

I was a difficult teenager, feeling lost at times even through college with what to do--"Follow your passion" my mom always said, and I grew tired of hearing this phrase because it felt like my passions weren't good enough for the "real-world," or there were still so many uncertainties.  Everything I did, my mom would try to help and push me to continue to explore these things.  And I wouldn't because I thought perhaps I'd fail, and I'd rather not succeed at all, then by trying and then failing.  But failure is all just relative after all. There are always going to be different ways of looking at any situation, and knowing how to love and appreciate things however small makes everything a success. 

I did those things I loved, that felt natural to me, and eventually they started piecing together.  These things included spending time with my grandparents, my family, taking photos whenever I could--not to try and capture the moment, but because I think the most beautiful thing about photographs is the way they bring you back to that moment, to that place, to that feeling.  And whether the feeling is sad, nostalgic, elation, uncertainty, or any other things, that feeling is pure.  Photographs are pure.  They're similar to Harry Potter's Magical Mirror, where even though it looks the same to the naked eye, the feelings that are instilled in each individual is different.  Photographs are free for anyone to interpret at their own free will, and for every individual to feel as they please--hopefully discovering something new about yourself.  These are my thoughts on photographs, but without her support I am not sure I would have felt as comfortable snapping photos all the time.

My mother (and father) have never once raised her voice or hand to me in my 25 years, even when I was trying to break my bed out of anger (This is when I was a prepubescent youth..and it only happened maybe twice).  I still remember that night where she just went downstairs, and brought me a glass of milk, while my dad sat with me watching his rabid daughter try to break out of her cage slash side bed guard since she would frequent falling off the bed in sleep.  My mother told me it was okay to be angry and to let it out. (I mean who does that... it's just... so... patient, loving? kind? wtf all the nicest things you can imagine please insert here.)  My mother's also quirky, she loves sparkles, sometimes participates in what some may call weird social habits...for example while I was in court getting my first traffic ticket (I've only ever had 2 okay), she spent her time doing a 5 minute sketch of the judge, and before we left, she ran up to the judge and dropped off her picture with a simple "Here you go! thanks so much!" I remember being so embarrassed and infuriated at the time, but looking back on it now I'm filled with so much joy and humour for how sweet and pure of a woman she is.  I am so proud of my mother, and so grateful for way she has shown me how wonderful life is being comfortable in your own skin.   Thank you mabu.  Wishing you all are lucky enough to feel this type of pure love.

Here are some photos from last summer, where she spent hours making the perfect head wreath 24 hours with me before Nika and I ventured off to Paradiso :)

I didn't bring my camera to paradiso so...here's the final product :)

I didn't bring my camera to paradiso so...here's the final product :)

“I’m not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.”
— ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Love,
Daze

El Nido, Palawan Islands, Philippines

Hi All!

It's been a while since I've done a throwback travel post, but the warm weather we've been getting in Beijing is calling me back to the Philippines!  Will and I took a trip to El Nido last year to get out of the Beijing smog and to check out if the beaches were actually as blue as they were said to be ... and THEY WERE!!!! When I first met Will, I thought he was the most serious person in the world, which is still kind of true, but over time I've come to realize he's also the most selfless, thoughtful, and kind person I know.  These are traits that you can't hide or express with words, but traits seen through actions over time.  I know i may be repeating myself, but I can't express my gratitude enough for all the wonderful people in my life.  Thank you for taking this wonderful trip and journey with me, and for making the Beijing haze an enjoyable #Beijingdaze. 

We had to take a 20 seater plane, which was delayed for a whole day because the sun set too early, and they were skeptical to navigate to the island with the minimal lighting (gettin' real Adventure－like here).  We landed at 6am the following morning, and proceeded to trek across the island to our cute red ocean front bungalow.  You could see the bottom of the ocean floor 10 meters down from the beach, and it was absolutely marvellous.  For those of you who don't know... we are both marine lovers and especially fish lovers.  There was a point we saw two squids mating from the dock through the clear waters.  Anyway, there isn't much else to say.  The trip was lovely, the company was golden, the locals never disappoint with their hospitality and the scenery was so much more than I expected.  Here are some snaps from the trip! Enjoy ;)

Pensive & Pregnant

Pensive & Pregnant

Where the ocean meets the sky :)

Where the ocean meets the sky :)

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“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.”
— ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Love,
Daze